The small apartment door creaked a little as it opened from the outside. Chi Dongyi dragged himself through the darkness, too lazy to turn on the hallway light. This was his daily routine, muscle memory was more than enough for him to reach the living room and plop down on the worn-out sofa his sister managed to sneak out from their old storage.
When Chi Dongyi left home 3 years ago, he originally thought he could replace all the old furniture with his first paycheck. Thinking back on his naivety, he wanted to cry.
Even though his pay was good, that’s just how it looked paper. The price of being a big city dweller... this small city person can’t afford it!
In the first place, what was he so ambitious for? He didn’t even like to try so hard in school, why did he suddenly feel like going on an adventure? Why did he think moving out to live on his own was a good idea? If his mom didn’t keep bragging to their neighbors about her son getting invited to work at the capital straight out of college, even if you beat him half-dead, Chi Dongyi wouldn’t have endured for 3 years.
Actually, Chi Dongyi was a very casual person. He didn’t care too much about what he wore or what he ate. Old furniture, not being able to buy nice things, not being able to eat good food… those are not the problem. The biggest problem is that there’s too much work! There was no time for to rest and more importantly, no time to read!
The more he thought about it, the more Chi Dongyi wanted to turn in his resignation letter. He typed it up last year, but every time he resolved to turn it in, his mom would give him an untimely call to ask him how he’s doing and tell him how proud of him she was.
At this point, Chi Dongyi was too exhausted to think--he’ll decide on whether he’ll quit or not when he wakes up. Just as his consciousness turned dark, Chi Dongyi wished from the deepest part of his heart: In his next life, please let him be reborn as a NEET.
Ding! Congratulations! You have been chosen for an all-expenses paid interdimensional travel!
Still groggy, the rudely awoken Chi Dongyi blinked. All he could see was darkness. He wasn’t even sure if he actually blinked or not.
You didn’t.
??? Chi Dongyi heard a generic synthesized voice speak. It’s talking to me?
Correct! I am System 564. You have recently died so now you can bind with me to explore the rich and diverse inter-dimension. Host should know that this opportunity isn’t granted to everyone! It just so happened that host’s final wish perfectly matched this system’s task. In fact, it isn’t an exaggeration at all to call it fate! Please accept the contract and we can get started right away!
The electronic voice was stiff, and there were strange pauses throughout its sentences. The voice was obviously monotone but somehow, Chi Dongyi could hear its excitement. This obsolete technology reminded Chi Dongyi of his first computer as a child. What carefree days those were! No deadlines, no meetings, no getting yelled at for something not his fault, no snide comments and dirty looks. But now, he was already…
...Dead?
Yes. There was a big gas leak in the apartment complex. The alarm went off and an announcement asked everyone to evacuate. You were sleeping too deeply to hear it. …Actually, you woke up from the announcement, but then you fell back asleep when sitting up halfway. After that you ignored the alarms for half an hour before the explosion. In the end, you were the only one who died from the incident.
Now that the synthesizer mentioned it, Zhou Yiren seemed to vaguely recall a gas alert. It wasn’t hard for him to fill in the blanks. Since his lights were all off, no one was sent to check his apartment. He always left for work so early and came home at odd hours. It isn’t strange that none of his neighbors remembered to look for him.
Which is why host should bind with me! And together we can travel between worlds!
Chi Dongyi was an avid reader. He was well-acquainted with the system-binding troupe. Too bad he hadn’t had the chance to enjoy himself recently. It would have been nice to fall asleep while reading a xuanhuan and get reincarnated in a cultivation world… never mind, cultivation was hard work. But then again, system-binding after dying could only mean he had to clear some kind of mission. Besides, the system itself just mentioned tasks.
Host doesn’t need to worry at all! Even though I say task, there really isn’t anything the host needs to do. The host just needs to live as a NEET--isn’t it host’s dream anyway? No other system has a task as easy as mine! You can do the job laying down, sleep when you want, eat when you want. You don’t even need to talk to anyone!
Oh, okay. Then ‘I accept.’ Chi Dongyi felt a warmth run through him even though he logically knew he didn’t have a physical form right now. As for his body, if it was still intact after the explosion. Chi Dongyi was a little excited. Maybe he might even get a chance to explore a xuanhuan world in the future.
Ding! Great! The binding was successful! ~\(≧▽≦)/~ Please take care of me in the future! Let’s level up together!
It wasn’t that Chi Dongyi completely trusted this outdated digital voice or that he didn’t sense anything strange. That kind of desperate door-to-door sales style was definitely very suspicious but Chi Dongyi had nothing to lose. What could they do, kill me?
“Kill me. Somebody.... Please…. KILL ME!!!” More than two months have passed since he took on his first mission. Now he finally knew why the system was named 564.
Honored Host, please quell your anger... Please remember to conserve your energy! Anything you wish to say to your loyal system, all you have to do is think it!
Hearing this, Chi Dongyi couldn’t hold back his anger anymore. At first, when he first heard that the mission was to survive inside the house as the original body, he thought that he just had to properly budget the funds, make use of his skill from his previous job. But this original was just. too. poor! After doing the calculations n times to make sure, Chi Dongyi finally came to the conclusion: only by conserving water and gas usage to a minimum, eating just enough to survive, and cutting all electricity, would he be able to survive in this tiny apartment for three months.
Chi Dongyi didn’t care about the food, didn’t care that he couldn’t go out. What he cared about what the lack of electricity, which meant: no phone, no internet, no reading. Forget books, there wasn’t even a dining table in here. Even if there were books, how was he going to read them without any light? The heavy curtains are always drawn shut, out of fear that people would find him.
The original was running away from debt collectors. Actually, the one who borrowed money wasn’t even him, but an old “friend.” According to 564, the original died too early, which caused a butterfly effect that would eventually affect the protagonist of this world, eventually causing this world to destabilize. This character himself wasn’t even qualified to be called a ‘mob character’, in fact he wasn’t qualified to be called ‘a character mentioned in the passing’. Even the original’s name was unknown. Since 564 is still a level-1 system, it could download only the bare minimal information necessary to complete the mission. In short, the original was a complete nobody. As for how someone like him is able to affect the big picture… the workings of the universe is deep and unfathomable.
At first, Chi Dongyi didn’t have any idea how difficult it was to do nothing but lay down or sleep. Eating was limited because of the budget, and exercise was discouraged to minimize energy expenditure. He cleaned to keep himself occupied, but the apartment was so small--there’s only a certain number of times you can wipe down spotless surfaces before cleaning gets more boring than just sleeping. Not to mention how much the system nags when Chi Donyi moves just a little.
Of course, Chi Dongyi was aware that wasting energy meant dying permanently. That’s why he tried his best and finally got past the two month mark before starting to break down.
He had assumed that a system’s existence meant the guarantee of entertainment, but all this system could access at the moment were children’s books: common fairy tales and rhymes. During the first month, he read and reread them so many times that if someone handed Chi Dongyi some pens and paper, he would not only be able to rewrite all the lines word for word--but also replicate the pictures perfectly!
This was the terrifying nature of boredom--It could even make someone like Chi Dongyi so focused that he remembers the smallest details.
564 was trying its best, but its knowledge was limited to an child’s. Lately, the awkwardly-paced electronic small talk just made Chi Dongyi more irritated.
He was scammed!
System 564 was not a newly created system. As a 3-star difficulty system, an average between a 1-star physical and a 5-star mental demand, its completion points would not be low. And perhaps it was because the creators felt a little guilty about the misleading difficulty level, they decided to make it up with rewards.
Chi Dongyi was confused when he found out its completion rewards are higher than most 4-star difficulty systems. If that’s the case, how could 564 still be stuck on level-1? He should have guessed that this could only mean one thing: all the other hosts died before the three-month mark. No one could escape the curse of the creators’ great naming sense. They all met with a true death-by-boredom end.
And now, Chi Dongyi really wanted to follow the footsteps of his respected seniors. Anyone who’s been in his situation is worthy of his deepest respect and condolences.
Of course, towards himself, Chi Dongyi also felt all kinds of amazement and pity, along with helplessness and despair. He already lost track of time, no longer asking 564 how much time was left. Chi Dongyi could honestly say that he didn’t care anymore. He stopped eating as of yesterday, or was it the day before? Who knows, who cares?
The poor system was trying its best to persuade its Honored Host to eat. Chi Dongyi was the only host to make it past two months. Such a good seedling… how could it let this opportunity pass!
564 was frustrated at its own stuttering and monotone voice, not pretty nor persuasive at all! For the first time, it blamed the default voice of the free package. If the people at the top really wanted them to work effectively, they should’ve made the early levels easy then gradually up the difficulty! Oh wait, they did that for the newer systems... 564 could only lament that it was born at the wrong time.
Dear Honored Host, please eat just one bite? We’re almost there! It’s been so hard on you. Just endure a little more? Honored Host? Please don’t pretend to be sleeping…. Your loyal system swears to the heavens above, right after we clear this mission I’ll immediately expand the library! I’ll use all my points to buy all the available books! Honored Host, you finally opened your eyes! ….?????
If it had a corporeal body, it would have backed away. Why is its Honored Host angry? It already made such a big promise, forgoing the chance of getting a body….
Chi Dongyi saw red at the thought of having to endure this type of boredom ever again. Chi Dongyi frowned, tight fists formed at his sides. He could feel the system’s confusion radiating from their bond. Chi Dongyi felt a fresh wave of anger directed towards 564.
In the next moment, he just sighed. The tension release from his body. The anger went as fast as it came. Chi Dongyi knew his system was a little dumb, 564 didn’t mean to say anything wrong. That scammer probably thought it was saying something comforting.
Honored Host? The innocent system asked as tentatively as it could in its monotone voice. It sensed that its host was not mad anymore. Its host was the best! That’s why it can’t give up now!
The dumb little system was about to speak again when Chi Dongyi finally talked to it, “How much longer?”
564 was so happy to get a response that it forgot to remind (nag) Chi Dongyi to conserve his energy.
Let me look that up right away for you sir!
So you don’t even know how much time is left…. Yet you just said that it’s almost over. Chi Dongyi only muttered in his heart, not wanting to waste anymore energy on 564. He already knew that the capabilities of this system of his were currently… limited.
This is great! Honored Host, Honored Host! We’ve--
Ding! Mission 1: complete. Initiating reward transfer. Ding! Transfer complete.
--finally done it! Honored Host… why are we back in the space?
Am I the system or are you the system? Go check the rewards. The mission is completed.
After confirming the points, 564 quickly used some of it to level up. Without needing any reminders, it promptly bought out all the available books without even checking the titles or price. This system was a little foolish but it had an earnest character--a teachable child.
Honored Host! I’ve bought all the books! Do you want me to save the rest of the points? 564 reported to Chi Dongyi, wanting to be praised.
It was obviously monotone, but why did Chi Dongyi seem to hear a little reluctance?
Good! Didn’t you want a body? Go get one.
It’s too expensive…. Ah! Honored Host, Honored Host! May I get a custom voice for now?
En. You did well! Chi Dongyi guessed that most of the points were already spent on expanding the library. And besides, other than being a little untruthful when it tried to establish the contract, 564 really did try its best for his sake. He knew how much 564 longed for a body but it still kept its promise without a single thought of negotiating. Not that Chi Dongyi would relent when it came to books anyway. Well, 564 should be able to get a body next time. A small rabbit or kitten would suit it well.
Just like how postpartum hormones interfere with the memories of labor so the mother doesn’t remember the pain quite as vividly, a similar process occurs as the host’s soul leaves the original’s body. Chi Dongyi was already rationally planning how to spend the next reward, completely forgetting how much he’d rather die than to do another mission just a while ago.
Seeing how hard its host was working for their sake, the upgraded-only-in-certain-areas 564 got fired up too.
The fact that these two were partners, it was probably fate.
…. 564.
Honored Host! I didn’t know about this! I swear to the heavens above!
The precious reading materials that 564 spent all their points on… they were various subjects for first grade. Elementary. school. first. grade. textbooks.
This time’s mission required them to stay alive for three months again. Chi Dongyi was beginning to suspect that the true mission was to stay sane.
At this point, was staying alive even worth it?
Honored Host….
Hearing the slightly wavering tone calling out to him, Chi Dongyi could only sigh. It wasn’t this dumb little thing’s fault that the only “books” available were first grade elementary textbooks. Chi Dongyi’s eye twitched as he flipped through the various subjects. Time to learn first grade material by heart….
Why were there first grade elementary textbooks in the first place? Chi Dongyi had a ominous feeling.
Please don’t let me be right.
So how is it? Once the mission was complete, Chi Dongyi asked the eager-to-please system to check something.
.... For the first time since its creation, 564 really didn’t want to speak.
Not confirming was the same as confirming. Chi Dongyi sighed. Buy them all.
Right away! 564 hurried to buy them before its host changed his mind. As long as he buys them, it means that he won’t abandon it! The system began to brainwash itself. What’s it supposed to do with a body for now anyway? It might even starve to death with its current level. Might as well save up the points for a form that’s more useful to Honored Host (cuter to curry favor) .
You don’t want anything?
We should save up!
You’re right. You’ve done well this time too!
564 felt so happy that Chi Dongyi could feel it through the bond. Perhaps he would praise it again next time too.
Let’s go.
Chi Dongyi braced himself. In any case, they can’t change what’s in stock nor could they complain to customer service. What lies beyond K-8 was probably high school material, then perhaps college material for various majors. And if what 564 tells him is true, that there are worlds with different martial art abilities, magic systems, and cultivation methods, each with its different sets of Laws…
By the time he“graduates” he would probably know everything there is to know about everything. At that time, Chi Dongyi could probably create his own stories, write his own textbooks.
But for now, Chi Dongyi was stuck talking to a voice in his mind and memorizing second grade material, just about bored to death.
Author's Note:
Thank you for reading this!
Some of you may already have known this, googled it, or figured it out based on context: 564 (wu liu si) is Chinese numerical slang for ‘bored to death’ (wu liao si)
This short story was inspired by a joke I made with my friend Coral, who created this site.
I hope you enjoyed it!
-Dewy >//<
Dewy: If you enjoy my content, please consider supporting what I do. Thank you. ^-^